Tuesday, May 22, 2007
BROKEN
On 26th April 2007, I surrendered two areas of my life to God. I was broken...
Having an exam on 27th, I was expecting somebody to help me to follow up my people... 20 people that's under my care. But it didn't happen. No one offered help. Frankly, I was a bit disappointed but decided to just do it. The whole week like usual, I was busy with the SAB presentation as well as helping out the cell group. I failed to finish preparing for my exam...
Thursday, I went to our cell group meeting despite having 1/3 of the notes to study for the next day exam, feeling down... yes, down. Didn't feel excited at all.. but God is good, I felt His touch during the worship (though SH thought that the atmosphere was not that good). I gave up my study to Him...
During offering time, I felt the conviction to offer the last 10 dollars in my wallet.. I gave and was left with only $1 in my bank account... I was broken... giving up my finance to Him as well...
That night, when I reached home, I broke down to tears in front of my precious Lord... I just couldn't help it. Though I planned to study, I just couldn't help it but prayed, wept in the presence of God. I have given up all of me for all of You. I have nothing but You. Please, do not forsake Me. I give You all even if there is no return, even if I can't get an A for the exam...so what?.... I was totally broken.. I felt the peace and rest in my heart. I went to bed that night without thinking of my exam anymore.
Next morning, I woke up and managed to finished the last part of the notes before noon. Though I didn't manage to practice much, it's ok with me not to get A anymore. But praise the Lord, the exam was easy, and I am expecting an A+...
And that day, with $1 left in my bank account, I expected to receive my allowance that day. But nothing happened... I fasted. Realizing that I wouldn't be able to go to church with the $1, I borrowed money from my parents and living by it for the month of May. But again, God is good. Two weeks later, I was informed that my allowance has been increased by 30%. God is really looking for ways to bless me.
I felt the touch of God and His presence so tangibly that few weeks. In addition, because of the great sermon in church, I was again broken to God. I really hope that I will continue to be closed to God. Never fall back again but keep on loving Him and experiencing Him.
Dear God, I love You with all my heart. I want to know You more and be called a friend of You.
